What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Do straight guys like to have sex with men when they smoke meth?

Make Nazis afraid again!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What kind of lights would you like to use for your home decor?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How do you say "I don't speak French yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn French with you. Would you like to teach me French?" in French? Could you add audio?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What steps have you taken to stop being a targeted individual by gang stalkers? What has worked, what would you have done differently?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is the American mobile phone number format?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What do people aim for when they meditate, and how do they do it properly?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Which current F1 drivers should switch teams based on historical patterns?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What are some common historical misconceptions?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

Why are white women so hard to date?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why does a narcissist act like it's nothing when they hurt you?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.